Terrible two’s in the middle of a shop

Ok so i thought my son had started his terrible two’s early, he has had the odd one but I can honestly say it was nothing like today….

I had been working so my fiancé decided he and the baby would meet me in town as soon as I had finished my shift, as we had to take a few clothes back for different sizes and since Tom is away with work next week get sims for our spare phones as with our contracts we cannot call or text abroad to each other. So we went inti primark, John being a little whingy than normal and wanting out of his pram, so I thought ok I will give him the benefit of the doubt and give him my rules which I said to him very firmly ‘Ok, I will allow you out of the pram under the condition you stay very closely to mummy or I you will have to hold my hand if you do not do this I will put you straight back in the pram’ usually he abides by this as I do exactly what I say I will do if he doesn’t and he knows it. The minute the pram opened whilst his dad is at the counter John then makes
a run for it, so I got him and kneeled down and said ‘right now you are to hold my hand and if you do not like this you are to go straight back in the pram’ first few minutes he was fine with this but then he tried getting away and ended up on the floor screaming. I then said right your going in the pram and had to drag him fighting me and put him back in his pram. You would have thought I was murdering him by the noise he was making.

It’s strange how it wasn’t the tantrum
that got to me, it was the judgemental stares from ignorant and arrogant people that got to me the most. Especially when it is old people who probably have had kids themselves or
mums who have babies in prams. They don’t see the sweet natured child that he is and how good he truly is. I know this but it’s upwardly how quick and easy people do actually judge.

However he calmed down so we wanted to get his feet measured and took our chance at going into clarks, we got him out of his pram then too and again we had another tantrum but I noticed he was burning up, could have probably mostly been from the tantrum. On the bus all the way home he was chirpy and laughing with passengers and saying hiya or bye. When we got
Home he started hitting something he rarely does and used the naughty step after 3 times of this he calmed down so we left him and finally gave him his tea. After his tea he still seemed to be burning up and we checked his temperature which wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it was over and was 38.1 so we gave him calpol and within an hour of this his mood was as happy as ever and it was as if my terror had gone back into the angel that I know. Now I am dreading these terrible two’s more than ever as today I had my first true taste of what’s more to come.

On a brighter note I would like to share something which my son made
Me laugh and it still does every time it enters my head….

Yesterday I was doing my teeth but Tom had just left the bathroom and forgotten to close the bathroom door but I was desperate for the loo, not realising Tom had not closed the bathroom door, I quickly seen John turn from the corner of the door. Our bathroom being upstairs right at the wry top of the stairs and he had turned right towards and into the stairs it went quiet my heart beating I shouted ‘Tom do you have the baby’ my 22month old shouts ‘have you got the baba’ I laughed so much not just because of the funny reply back but with relief but now I find this reply back the funniest of all and how he changed baby to baba lol. Turned out Tom hadn’t gone down just yet and was waiting for the baby and was in the middle of going down when I shouted. Relief isn’t the word but boy did we laugh!

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Heartbreaking

It feels so wrong but yes am nary and upset because nearly everyone on Facebook and twitter are all pregnant with their second/third or even 4th child whilst Tom and I had to go through ivf to have one child and we can’t get pregnant with a second. I am thankful for my son everyday because I am grateful that I have been blessed with him but it is still heartbreaking I do not want him being an only child and Tom and I have been trying for a year and now I have to be referred back to hospital in order for me to have more tests. I may seem selfish to people but honestly I don’t care, unless you have been there and in that situation, you can’t judge x

Funny moments :- Arguing with a toddler

This morning for about 20 minutes I was arguing with my 21 month old that my name to him was ‘MUM’ as he insists on calling me Di/Diane, mostly Di as its what I prefer to be called by my friends and family. Now I know my son can call me mum, as he does mostly when he is not well and on the odd occasion when he wants something, he has been able to since he was 13 months old. Anyway after 20 minutes I gave up with him as he was still insisting that he calls me Di but then I thought I will take a toy, which I did and I said ‘now you won’t get it back till you say mum’ at first he repeatedly said Di laughing in the end he said so innocent and sweetly ‘mum’ I said ‘good boy’ and gave him his toy back and as my cheeky 21 month old walked away he shouted Di. I was very much defeated and a 21 month old won…. God I love him and he makes me laugh and this is one of them moments I will cherish forever even though I desperately wish he would call me ‘Mum’ all the time, I guess I can’t blame him after all he is my only child and hears everyone else calling me Di.

Hectic week

This week my partner and I took a weeks annual leave, first week together in a year this time last year we were on our way home from butlins. This year however we had no holiday planned, due to no money really…. However we still put John in nursery and have painted our living room the two days whilst he was at nursery and still some to do buthave had to do them when he has been in bed. My dad has been so kind to offer to do the wallpaper over on the fireplace wall when we are away next weekend visiting my gran. I just can’t wait to get it done, with a toddler around it’s very difficult so during the day we are Gavin to have trips out even if it’s just to the shops etc…. Monday we were in southport, Tuesday and Wednesday painting (John was in nursery) yesterday at toms mums, today however I am having to find things to entertain him this morning, have left him colouring on the table right now he is happy don’t know how long that will be till though. This afternoon we are going to get the wallpaper, then am at the docs to did out what tests I need in my journey to try and have another baby…. I keep hoping and praying that they will tell me that by some miracle I am pregnant naturally. I only hope this is the case but I am nervous and dreading going as I have been there and done that in order to have my ivf miracle, my John.

Policies and procedures in nursery

I don’t know about other nurseries policies but the one my son foes to is a surestart, now I understand why they have policies and procedures everywhere has them, my work place has them. There is one slight thing that bugs me!

You see at re moment my son is full of cold and teething, he has 2 teeth cutting through right now as I have explained in other posts the last few weeks just with these side teeth have been horrendous. However my son has had temperatures on and off right through, the thing is he may have one they day before he goes to nursery but be fine completely the next day buy if re nursery know about this he is not allowed in within 24hours of having a temperature which I think is ridiculous as it depends on the child. I understand completely why they can’t go in with vomiting or diahrea and even when they actually have the temperature as I wouldn’t put him in then anyways but within 24 hours I feel
is extreme as with having a cold and teething he is gonna have a lot of temperatures anyway.

I picked him up from nursery yesterday, now he has been fine, no temperature over the last few days apart from a cold but when I held him he was burning up, none of the staff seemed aware of this he was also doing little sons, crying slightly but not the way he usually would. I knew then he wasn’t well, in a way I am glad they hadn’t noticed but as soon as I got him home stripped him down checked his temp, which was 38.8 and put him in a cool bath it calmed him slightly but he wasn’t the least bit interested and e wanted to go to bed. With this my main concern was then do I tell the nursery even of he is ok in the morning or do I just see how he is and of he is ok take him in. This morning he woke and was laughing and playing, I checked his temperature and all was fine it was 36.7…. So I took him to nursery, see temperatures don’t last forever and again with a baby/toddler who is teething they are gonna get alot of temperatures on and off and especially with a baby/toddler who has a cold too as their bodies haven’t built a good immune system up just yet…. Has anyone else had anymore ridiculous policies and procedures? There are those ridiculous ones now where kids can’t play conkers without wearing headgear and play sack racing in schools no more. What’s happening to childhood these days, anyway that’s another story

IVF is still very much a taboo subject…. Why?

Before I start, I know I have only just this minute posted a blog but decided to do another here, as its a whole different subject…..

The reason I want to bring this subject up is because I am a mum to a beautiful baby and it is all thanks to the miracle of ivf and I am proud of that fact and could happily shout it from the rooftops. However for some women out there it is’t the case, not always, they are happy it worked that they got a BFP (Big Fat Positive) but at the same time the thought of anyone finding out they needed ivf fills them with dread. I don’t know why, perhaps there families give them grief or are very much prudish, I just don’t know. However I have noticed that it is such a taboo subject and very little is talked about when it comes to ivf, that so many people turn to the internet. There are loads of books on parenting, cancer even sex but very little about ivf. Some people even said to me, you don’t have to tell people you had ivf, most people will probably assume it was natural anyways but why shouldn’t I? I mean after all most of my family knew and my closest friends knew I was going for ivf as I wanted to be honest from the start, as you need as much support as you can get going through something like that. After trying for over 3 years and numerous of tests and an operation, IVF was my only option in the end and believe me it was the most scariest time of my life and the thought it could be another negative filled me with dread alone, so how could I keep this from my family and friends.

Through my time on a website, I will shorten it to ff, I became friends with a lot of amazing lovely people without them I wouldn’t have got through it in one piece. However i came across quite a few who were reluctant to tell their families as some were ashamed, others felt they didn’t need to know as it was none of their business (which is true, I can’t argue with that) some felt they would tell them when they had a positive, some of their reasons for this was that they didn’t want others getting their hopes up because they alone have had their hopes so many times themselves that they felt if it was a negative and people knew they would break down easier in front of them but if they didn’t know it would make it easier for them to just to get on with their lives and move on, this wasn’t always the case as some got bad news they distanced themselves from relatives especially those with children as they found it unbearable and it sometimes caused a rift in their families. Some have even chosen not to tell anyone at all before or after, wether any have changed their minds on that I have absolutely no idea.

I would love to see more mentioned about ivf, not every ivf story is a happy one but for a lot of mums it is and I am one of them and from the minute John can understand, he will get told how special and precious he is and what a little miracle he is, after all the ivf itself was just the beginning.

IVF should be celebrated as after all at one time it didnt exist and gave no one hope, now many men and women have some HOPE….

This post is along with the teething post is also on my tumblr!

Teething…..

Ok, so I was unsure wether to do another post today, only I haven’t done one in a little while as have been so busy doing overtime in work and looking after a teething toddler, who for the last two weeks has been teething so badly that both my partner and I have had so little sleep.

Since my son was 4 weeks old he has slept through for 12 hours and has always done even when we took him out of his cot and into his toddler bed. He has been teething since he was 3weeks old, he is now 20months old and is in the last two weeks his teething has worsened, he has suffered with nightimes before on and off but has always settled back once he has had his dummy but these two weeks, we have had to give him paracetamol before bed, this hasn’t always worked.

Solutions we have used through his whole 20 months are and have:-

Bonjela – which never seemed to work for John (If your a parent who likes to put it on their dummy then do so but not before bed, put it freshly on their gums an hour before they are due to go to bed, just incase of choking or anything, that was my biggest fear)

Ashtons and Parsons – This helped him a little upto 6-9 months once his side teeth started this was no use. It’s hard to buy now too so best buying the other type that is similar but not as good, I don;t think it’s in mothercare

paracetamol (calpol)

My best buy before he even had teeth and always calmed him down was his winnie the poo teether he would never use any other teether. I would recommend this to all parents as it vibrates on their gums and settles them only use for 3months and upwards, home and bargain do these!

My son only calms from paracetamol these days, however I don’t like depending on it and I will only use it when it’s extremely necessary. So I always try to use other options, like if he is bad in the day which he has been this past two weeks aswell as being tired from lack of sleep, I use lolly ices on smaller babies under 1 I use a tiny bit of ice-cream ( I would never use a lot of this as I don’t think it’s good for their stomach but it will help cool gums down, especially if your child is against teethers like mine)

Dummies too are good for teething babies but my biggest advice is if you can try and limit this to only night time as it becomes a habit for them to use as a comforter, however for smaller babies under 1 I guess it’s not too big a problem but get them off it or limit to night time as soon as you can as I have learnt it is ten times harder the older they are. John now only has his at nap and night times. He never used to want a dummy as a baby but strangely enough his side teeth started bothering him more from 9months and all of a sudden nothing was working teethers, calpol, bonjela, ashtons and parsons etc, so I gave him a dummy one day as he was crying he didn’t suck on it he bit it and kept pulling it away with his hand as he bit hard on it and repeatedly done this it, we oly gave it to him when his teeth were bad but by the time he was 1 he was getting attached to it, I wish at this point I’d have said right we either get rid of it or limit it at night times but we didn’t realise how attached to it he was till 2 months ago when he barely wanted to be without it. It was then that I said right its only for nap and night times and he wasnt allowed it through the day whilst playing or anything. I am glad I done this, as I feel although it will still be harder it will be easier at the same time when it comes to taking it off him permanently. I do understand why they say a child should be off dummies by the time they are one but a child suffers with their teeth up until they are 2, I feel a child needs their dummy until their teething stops, all children are different and different things help different children, the dummy has helped my son with his teeth mostly as this has become his teether. However if you do use a dummy my advice is to use a decent shaped one and never change as this is what I myself suspect is what causes childrens teeth to damage obviously prolong use on a dummy end of will but changing the different style of dummy from people I have known they have been told it was because they were changing dummies too often I don’t know if this is true or not but it’s what I have been told by more than 2 people. So just bare it in mind. Here is a picture of the type of dummy I use, you can get it from mothercare, asda or tesco’s

Children don’t half suffer a lot in the first 2 years of their life with teething and it’s not just a pain for the child it is too for the parent!

A little history about ivf

My biggest regret is not starting this blog much sooner, perhaps when I was under going ivf and when I was pregnant as these were the most challenging times of all and I had loads of emotions and things going through my head. Also I used to do blogs when I was a teenager and to be honest I found them to be my best at writing and getting my feelings out there. I made friends and few of whom I keep in touch with today.

Those who get pregnant naturally, I consider extremely lucky and they should too, as for some like me, it’s a very upsetting time and your full of emotions and when you find out your only chances of conceiving are from ivf, some may think this is brilliant, especially those of you who never have to go through it but the fact is those who do have to go through it is FEAR. First of all there is the ‘UNKNOWN’ of what the treatment will consist of, then it’s the ‘WHAT IF’S’ after all not everyone who has ivf gets pregnant and the biggest fear is ‘HOW AM I GOING TO COPE WITH YET ANOTHER NEGATIVE’ most find it hard to even consider that they will get a positive after so many years trying and getting so many negatives, I know I did.

After my 2 week wait I couldn’t bare the thought of even looking at my pregnancy test, that at 6am I done the test and threw it at my fiance and said its negative and got back into bed. He kept hold it for the full 5 minutes before telling me it was positive (my first ever positive test) I couldn’t believe it that as soon as I got the chance I decided to buy another 10 tests, even when I saw the first heartbeat on the screen I still didn’t truly believe it. When I had my 12 week scan and seen my son on there for the very first time, even then I was unsure and convinced they had put someone else’s baby on that screen, only when I had my 20 weeks scan did it begin to truly sink in and I cried when I discovered I was having a boy, finally after trying for so long, it was happening and it was very real.

The reason I am writing this particular post is because, this is a huge part of me as it is for my fiance and most definately our son. Also I am undergoing more tests too to determine if ivf is definately my only chance of ever conceiving because I was told after having John my body started working normally but after 6 months it seemed to go back to square one and now I am worried because I don’t want John to be an only child, if he is then so be it but I am not going to give up on having another baby, I also know some people won’t agree with this but please until you too are in the same position don’t judge, yet I understand those who haven’t had babies may also find and think I’m being selfish and I agree because maybe it is but am not just doing it for me I am doing it for my fiance and most of all my son. If it never happens, I will be upset but I can focus on it just being the 3 of us and maybe getting a nursing career and maybe even adopt, something I have always said I will do wether I had children naturally or not.

Here are some pics of my pregnant belly

Fun filled Saturday and a lazy sunday

Today is a day I usually sit in the morning snuggled on the couch and watch cartoon films with my son, such as shrek, the princess and the frog etc…. Anything that is on, that looks good. You see through the week my son is only allowed one hour of tv in the morning and come late afternoon before bed 2 hours, if he will sit and watch it that is and then a story before bed, in between these hours he plays and we find things for him to do. On a sunday that all goes out of the window, as both my fiance and I work, so Sundays are mine and Johns alone time, so all morning its films and afternoon play time before I go off to my mums for our tea.

Today however none of that worked out that way, as the first weekend in months and months Tom and I had it off together, I work 16 hours yet am in Wednesdays,Thursdays, Fridays and sat (feels like full time) and Tom does 30hours shift work, he keeps Thursdays and Fridays off due to childcare, as John goes to nursery on a Tuesday and Wednesday. So this friday I gave Tom a lie in and yesterday we had planned on going to blackpool but our lift let us down, as neither of us drive, so we chose to spend the full day up in southport as far easier and less money to spend travelling up there. We got up at 8am, got ready and were out the house by 9.30am, we spent an hour and a half at splashworld, which John absolutely loved, he even tried copying me with swimming with his armbands on and for a 20month old I can honestly say he is absolutely brilliant, the confidence he has in the water is amazing. My advice to anyone is if you have a baby start them getting used to water as early as possible take them swimming as often as you can I find it a brilliant bonding experience as well as fun and brilliant exercise for everyone. John has been going swimming since he was 9months old. Although he hasn’t been for a few months I was fearful he would have forgotten it all and been terrified but instead he embraced it. We had our lunch and 15 minutes of finishing his lunch John was fast a sleep in pram, without his dummy which we are trying to get him off slowly by only allowing it for his naps and at night in bed a sleep. Then we spent the day walking around arcades letting him have some fun with the money machines and also allowed him on the small rides, we then went to the fayre most of the kids rides were closed but he had fun on the ones he could go on and he loved it. Despite us not getting the chance to go where we wanted we had the most amazing day ever and we were just all so happy and it was worth it to see the smile on my sons face. The end of the day was when we arrived home at 7.15 and this consisted of us getting John in his pjs and in bed. He went out like a light. We soon followed after.

Tom my amazing fiance decided to give me my lie in as I too had given him one on Friday, my lie in usually means I don’t get up till 11am or 12noon and this is a rarity as we both work so much and yet I woke at 10am to find Tom wasn’t well at all so he went back to bed and Johns nap starts at 11am for 2 hours so it was just me up having a lazy day, so I thought I may as well get a bath. When Tom gets up I find he has diahrea, John too is teething, so it looks like my lazy Sunday has turned into a nurse Sunday, looking after one grown man and a 20month old, yet I wouldn’t change any of my this for the world.

Tantrums, how I deal with them!

I remember before I had my son, if I seen a toddler in a pram having a tantrum, I used to think to myself ‘I hope mine doesn’t act like that’ but I always said I would never give them what they want just because they are having a tantrum. Now I have a 20 month old I can understand why people do this, although I still don’t cave in to his demands, he is learning, so if I gave into him everytime he cried or had a screaming fit, what example am I setting for him and this would only get worse the older he got. I am quite lucky in the fact my son very rarely pulls tantrums, here are some reasons he pulls tantrums:-

• Tiredness
• He refused to eat his breakfast, lunch or even his tea
• As I leave for work (Am guessing it’s separation anxiety) as this never used to bother him

If he gets into a tantrum, where he has gotten himself into a state, I close the gate which is just on the second step of the stairs and sit him on the bottom of the stairs and leave him there, it’s heartbreaking but I have to do it and if he gets off keep returning him he eventually stays there for 1 minute and it truly works and calms him down. I am quite lucky that it is a rare occurrence.

If he refuses to eat his breakfast lunch or tea, we refuse to give him anything in between and coz he is so hungry he sometimes pulls tantrums because he wants a snack instead we refuse to give him any until he has eaten the next meal that comes next and this works too because he is so hungry he will eat the next meal and he is learning go eat his food very well now and that he isn’t always blog to get snacks unless he eats the food he needs. However if he refuses to eat his tea, I will give him toast about 7 half an hour before his bed, which will fill him that little but. I have to admit when he isn’t well I do let him get away with a little bit of naughtiness, I am a mum after all and feel sorry for him when he is ill, as am sure all mums do.

When I go to work I feel so guilty for leaving him but he is great when it comes to going to nursery, he loves it and can’t wait to get away from me but for two days, my fiancé his father takes then off to look after him and it’s usually these days he starts screaming and clings to me that my partner has turned it into a game and let’s him close the door and look through the peep hole or rush to the window to see if he can see me and I hide then sneak up and wave but thankfully he loves these. My dad also has him for one day too more than not he is happy to go with him.

The worst time for his tantrums are when we are in public, which again I can honestly say and thankfully are a rare occurrence. I am a shy person, so when my son acts like this my face goes beetroot, as if I tell him off I get nasty looks, yet if I leave him and ignore it I too vet nasty looks and criticism. I sometimes feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and saying ‘every toddler does this or have u forgotten, you old crank’ as more often than not it is these ones that do it. I’m not perfect and I will admit in public I have been tempted and once or twice actually given into him but then regretted because he then does it again very shortly after for something else.

I find having a toddler is s lot harder, than when he was a baby, yet fun at the same time. I always make the effort to have fun with him and enjoy our time together and especially when his dad and I are both off we make the effort to go out for a day and he is so happy on these occasions the most. You can see a big difference in him. Overall he is s happy toddler and I have had compliments from so many people, despite often putting myself down, somewhere sling the lines, I must be doing something right. Again am not perfect I make mistakes but I learn from them and I find other ways around dealing with the things that happen. No parent is perfect or the best, it’s about trying to be the best you can be. Something I will always tell my son is, if you try, then that makes you the best you can be. The same goes for parenting.

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